The Paper Bag Hypothesis And the Hater?…A Letter to Hollywood.

Dear Hollywood,

You’re quite good at pumping out amazing summer blockbusters, but I can’t help but have one question for you. Why do you keep giving Megan Fox roles in movies that she has no business being in? I may sound like a hater, but I’m not. I don’t hate her, I hate that her presence brings down the entertainment value of any film she’s in. I understand you want at least a little eye candy in your films and I suppose I can’t grudge you for that. Sex appeal brings in the big bucks, but that’s doesn’t justify casting someone who probably couldn’t act her way out of a paper bag…even if there were instructions written on the inside of the paper bag on how to do so and a copy of “Acting Your Way Out Of Paper Bags for Dummies” sitting right beside her in the bag.

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She’s a pretty face, yes, but there’re so many pretty faces out there who just happen to have talent to back up their appeal. Why not give one of them a chance at an iconic role instead of falling back on Megan Fox?

 

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Don’t get me wrong though, I don’t dislike her as a person at all. I’ve never met her, but she’s probably a decent person for all I know. That however has nothing to do with her acting. I recall reading something she’d said some time ago when the Transformers movies – the ones she was in- about her talking down about the directing or producing of the movies or some such thing and how the films did little if nothing to showcase her acting abilities. I of course didn’t believe a word of it, but I was willing to hold off for the most part until I had a chance to see her given the chance to get out of that paper bag. Then Jennifer’s Body came along.

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She had her chance to get out of that paper bag for once and for all. What did she do? She ended up bombing horribly. Sure tons of horny guys may have watched it to see her do the one thing she seems to be terrific at…being pretty on film. In fact, the only likable thing about that film was the character of her best friend…with the odd name.

Anyway Hollywood, the point of all this is simply to ask why.?.

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The New Star Wars

It recently came to my attention that in only a short 21 months (1 year, 9 months), there’s going to be a brand spanki’n new Star Wars Film. Ever since George Lucas sold all things Star Wars to Disney, I’ve been waiting with, I dare say bated breath to see what the outcome would be. In the past, Disney’s had a huge success with taking over Marvel Entertainment and putting out films like The Avengers and the films building up to The Avengers; Even their latest film, Thor: The Dark World. The point being… Disney apparently seems to know what it’s doing. The problem though is that unlike the Marvel films they’ve been putting out, there are already 6 Star Wars films out there that any new films are going to always be compared to. The new films are going to either as good as the first 6 or better in order to be any good. “Almost as good” just won’t cut it.

So, here are a few things about the up and coming film you may or may not care to know:
The film is slated to take place around 30 years after the events in Return of the Jedi and is said to star three new young leads…as well as a few very familiar faces. Disney also plans on releasing a new Star Wars film every year, beginning in 2015.

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Now, to go from what’s known, to what’s suspected/rumored… :
Adam Driver and is a great possibility to play the role of the film’s main villain, though how he or whoever is chosen for the role’s character will compare to the epic epicness of Lord Vader, only time can tell.

 

 

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Jesse Plemons, Ed Speleers, John Boyega, Matthew James Thomas, & Ray Fisher are rumored as possibles for the male lead in the film, and Lupita Nyong’o is a rumored possibility for the female lead role. it’s even been said that her (or whoever plays the role) will possibly be playing as a descendent of Obi-Wan Kenobi.

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Both Gary Oldman and BenedictCumberbatch were both said to have been interested in the same role and both may have possibly been cast.

If those last two names got your interest then you’ll love the fact that Harrison Ford and Mark Hamil are coming back to the world of Star Wars. It’s even said that Carrie Fisher will be coming back as well, though sadly who knows if she’s likely able to appear or not. Also, there’s a possibility; however slight it may be, that Billy Dee Williams  might make a return as well.  And just to show that the Sith isn’t an all boys club, there’re talks of there being a female Sith villain in the film as well. Here’s hoping if that turns out to be true, the character is as interesting as the character of Asajj Ventress.

 

Last, but not least, (This may be a spoiler of sorts for anyone who’s not familiar with the Expanded Universe or the Star Wars fiction written to take place after Return of the Jedi.) it’s been said that the film may focus on twins; one possibly taking a turn to the darkside and another following in their fathers footsteps. This could reference Luke Skywalker and Leia Organa-Solo or Jacen and Jaina Solo (the later of the two being  the kids of Han Solo and Leia Organa-Solo in the Star Wars Expanded Universe and or Star Wars fiction.)

One thing I know without a shadow of a doubt… if this film doesn’t live up to the fans expectations story/script-wise, acting-wise, and of course.. effects-wise, a great disturbance will be felt in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. 

 

 

 

The Wonder Woman We… I Want.

Hey there to whomever’s reading this latest post of mine. I’ve noticed that my postings have been few and far in-between, but I aim to fix that…eventually. In the mean the mean time, I was talking with a co-worker of mine about things from our childhood; cartoons, movies and such.. and we came to the topic of Wonder Woman… or to be more specific, who should play Wonder Woman should they decide to make a film for her(with the obvious fact that a Justice League film is obviously looming overhead in the distance.)

So, here’s yet another geek-fueled post by yours truly. Here’s my top 5 list of the most capable female actresses who also happen to have the required looks to play the role of probably the most powerful female character in the entire DC Universe.

 

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1) Jaimie Alexander: It may seem obvious to claim that Jaimie Alexander(the only female Asgardian on Marvel’s side)would be a more than perfect pick for Wonder Woman. As Sif,(In the film Thor)the female Asgardian warrior, she more than combined beauty with brawn. Believe it or not, Alexander’s been brought up in the past as a possible/potential Diana, but for one reason or another, her interest decreased. None the less, she would do a more than splendid job in the role.

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2) Michelle Rodriguez: Being no stranger to the genre of action, Rodriguez has more than shown she can hold her own, whether it’s taking down the infected undead, fighting off an alien attack, driving really fast, or flying/firing from a gunship while kicking butt and taking names…like a boss. Aside from that, she..like every actress mentioned or to be mentioned in this list more than physically fits the bill. And while some may question her as a pick, due to her not being Caucasian, keep in mind…that Wonder Woman herself is not Caucasian… She’s Greek.

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3) Jennifer Lawrence: Star of The Hunger Games, Lawrence showed us that she can do action, and quite well at that. As Katniss Everdeen, she’s shown she can hold her own in a lethal fight to the death, while inspiring that most important of things.. hope. And as good as she is as an archer(In character at least), the world would be a far more interesting place, and we would get a near-perfect representation of the Amazonian  princess.

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4) Sarah Michelle Gellar: There’s no question that Gellar would be more than suited for the role of Amazonian princess. Her stint as Buffy Summers in the Buffy the Vampire Slayer from 1997-2003 more than qualifies her as capable. As the titled character, she’s faced vampire lords, eldritch deities, the apocalypse(on a few occasions) and even the very first evil to ever exist. We’re talking the embodiment of all evil here. If that’s not good enough reason, then there’s also the fact that she is an actually good actor. Her roles in The Grudge, the 2 Scooby Doo films, Cruel Intentions have proven that. And she’s even got geek cred having voiced April O’Neil in the TMNT film.

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5) Lucy Lawless: Just like the 4 mentioned actresses above, Lawless has earned her action chops. In her case, it was in her role as TV’s Xena, Warrior Princess. The ancient Greek equivalent of Wonder Woman, she was basically everything Wonder Woman stood for and then some. She’s taken on monsters, warlords, demi-gods and the god of war himself, Aries. She’s even taken on angels and demons. She may be a little older now than when she played the title character, but I have no doubt that Lucy Lawless could more than handle the role and do it some major justice.

 

I should note that none of the images used in this blog post are by any means my property.

Marvel vs. DC: Avengers vs. Justice League

With the soon to be arrival of the new Avengers movie, I found it only fitting to do a hero-off..if you will. Both the Avengers and the Justice league are composed of some of their comic book universes mightiest heroes. Now, I could go and limit myself to people who served in either group at the same time, but where would the fun be in that?  I’ve decided to judge both groups on a category based system. The Categories are Strength, Intelligence, Speed and agility, Weapons, and Magic.

Strength: While many may look at the Justice League at having this one in the bag because of Superman and Wonder Woman’s strength, they could possibly be wrong. Though the two are two of the strongest humanoid beings in the Justice League and the DC Universe, the Hulk is one of Marvel Comic’s strongest beings period. He’s pummeled gods, androids, and super-humans alike. Then you have Thor. As strong as the Hulk is, Thor is one of the only beings to have gone nearly to toe with the mean green machine. If the Hulk was out of this equation the fight would possibly go to the Justice League. Edge: Avengers

Intelligence: As important as strength is, it’s nothing without some intelligence behind it; and that’s something the Justice League has in spades. With brains like Batman (Who was smart enough to make a contingency plan in the event of the rest of the Justice League going rogue and trying to takeover the earth. Despite the fact that those contingency plans were stolen by agents of Vandal Savage and later used against the Justice League to nearly lead to their end.), the Martian Manhunter, and Superman… yes… Superman(he’s from an advanced alien civilization. He’s got to have some advanced alien intelligence.), the Justice League is doing very well, intelligence wise. On the other hand, the Avengers have minds like Tony Stark/Iron Man, Ant-Man, and Bruce Banner. Edge: Justice League

Speed and agility: Speed’s as important as any of the other categories here. No two people personify speed in the Justice League as much as Superman and the Flash. The Flash of course being the faster of the two. The quickest/fastest member of the Avengers would have to be Quicksilver. He is fast, very fast, but not faster than the Flash. Then there’s Thor, whose hammer allows him to fly at speeds faster than most fast superheroes can run. The Flash however is speed personified. He’s so fast that when he dies from going too fast he doesn’t go to heaven, hell, or purgatory, he becomes part of some sort of cosmic speed-force type thing. Edge: Justice League

Weapons : There’re a vast number of actual weapons that’re used by both groups here, but two of the most powerful among them is the power ring possessed by the Green Lantern of DC Comics and Mjolnir, the mighty hammer of Thor. While the Green Lantern’s power ring is powered by will itself and can create any construct its wearer can imagine, Thor’s hammer Mjolnir is forged of an indestructible or at least nearly indestructible star metal. A Green Lantern power ring can be broken or destroyed, though the later of the two would cause quite a large explosion….usually. On a basis of just how much power each weapon possesses though, one Green Lantern ring is enough to possibly destroy an entire fleet of starships… assuming its wearer’s will is strong enough. Mjolnir has the power to control storms and weather itself. That basically makes whatever planet the hammer is on into a weapon. That, and Mjolnir can absorb energy.  Edge: Avengers

Magic: While it’s not the most important thing for a team to have, it always helps to have at least one team member learned in the arcane arts. You know, in case that Harry Potter kid ever gets out of hand. There’s no doubt that the Justice League has its share of magic users… Doctor Fate, Zatanna, Etrigan, and Captain Marvel to name a few, but despite their number and their abilities, it’s the Avengers who boast a Norse god and the Sorcerer Supreme. The combined magics of Thor and Doctor Strange could rip open a whole in reality so large that nothing this side of the sun could survive. Now if we’re talking Rune King Thor… it would be even more epic. Not only is the sheer level of magical mastery larger on the side of the Avengers, but unlike the Justice League there is no one member of the Avengers who would take additional damage due to magic based attacks. That can however not be said of the Justice League…due to Superman’s “magic allergy”. Edge: Avengers

Bottom line: Any fight between those two groups would go down in history as the most epic of epic battles to ever be witnessed. Either side would face tremendous losses in a battle like this and some of our favorite superheroes would surely be lost to us. Unless they came back wearing Black Lantern power rings in some odd crossover. Winner: Avengers, Earth’s mightiest heroes.